Magic Words: The Beginning

She was tall and skinny and had those tiny lines around her mouth from freezing it into an awkwardly tight smile. When she spoke, she got strangly in my space, forcing me to gaze up at her from my 9 year-old height, slack jawed and dopey eyed.

"I've always just felt like homeschooled children don't get enough socialization," she said.

Ah, the magic words. The words I learned to hate at an early age still cause my fists to clench and teeth to grind today. These words prove that stereotypes are nothing but the complete lack of creativity in a human mind, that original thought is an illusion, that independent reasoning is non-existant.

Homeschooled students grow up with these words pounding in their ears, a steady thumping rythm that's ever present no matter where they go, how far they travel, what they accomplish. They're dangerous words, because as a student grows, changes, graduates and moves through life, he or she must choose the effects of those words.

The next few posts will discuss the most common ways homeschool students and graduates deal with the thick glass of a stereotype that surrounds their childhood like a fishbowl.

Leaving the Nest

"Ok, so tell me..." she leaned forward in her chair. "Was it harder for you to be in a classroom and everything, since you were homeschooled? I mean, was it harder to adjust to college?"

My view of the student asking the question was blocked, as the girl to whom the question had actually been addressed turned in her desk to provide what I hoped would be a biting answer.

"Somewhat," she said softly. "Maybe it took a little more adjustment..."

Of their own accord, my eyes rolled dramatically and I turned back toward the front of the room, crossed my arms and slouched in my seat, sighing with resignation.

Perhaps the most frustrating aspect of being a homeschool graduate, or current student, is hearing the same arguments recycled to no end, with each speaker feeling that he or she has had a great epiphany about the dangers of independent thinking and must share it in hushed tones of concern. Pushing to top the list of these concerns, is the idea that HSG will not be able to leave the nest, get out of the home and adapt to a college environment filled with other human beings, perish the thought.

The flaw in this concept is that a great deal of success in college is obtained through a desire and ability to learn, not a desire and ability to take tests, sit in class for three hours and socialize outside of the classroom. These abilities are the product of an initial commitment to succeed. And HSG are nothing if not commited to success.

The truth, however, is that HSG only struggle with these things on an individual basis, not as a whole because they were not glued to a desk under a stiff routine for 12 years. There are any number of reasons why a student may struggle with a certain subject, not be overly social, suffer from text anxiety or find college stressful in general.

In the end, however, society's "concern" for the success of HSG in college only fuels their drive to excel, not only in a college environment, but in the workforce.

One college graduate and former homeschool student posted her excitement on the wall of Facebook group, "I was homeschooled and I still made it to college."

"Yay! I graduated college last week and got a job right away," she wrote. "I graduated at the top of my class and, although it was a lot of work, I was totally prepared for it! Now I can shove my beautiful college diploma in all those mean people's faces who said I couldn't make it out there!"

The Importance of Being Honest

Our instructions were simple: "Make the university look good." All 18 student ambassadors in training slouched in our flimsy chairs at large tables arranged in a suggestive circle. They were great students, the cream of the academic crop. Most of them represented one or more campus subculture, and I was honored to be among them. A moment later, however, my enthusiasm was curbed, as the word “homeschool,” sliced through the oppressing, July air like a cold blade.

“So when you deal with them,” our counselor concluded, “just be sensitive to the fact that they aren’t used to being around that many people, and the size of the school might intimidate them.”

No one stared at me accusingly, but I felt the center of attention nonetheless, as if a flashing sign, much like the one above, were hanging over my head, exposing the details of an educational identity I hadn’t yet shared. In addition to our counselor’s exaggeration of Missouri Western State University’s size, his polite jab at the social ineptitude of homeschool graduates confirmed my acquired belief that the past of a home school grad is best left there, hidden from the judgmental eyes of college instructors and peers.

It is a belief worth discussing. Should home schoolgrads tell others of their educational background up front? When confronted about what high school they attended, should they smile with pride or change the subject for fear of being filtered through the same stereotypes they discovered growing up?

Kenna, homeschool graduate and freshman at UMKC, says the subject comes up all the time among friends and professors. And she usually doesn’t hesitate to discuss her upbringing. “(My) most negative (response) wasn’t too bad… just a surprised look and an ‘oh’ as in 'that’s too bad.' They really just didn’t understand."

Martha, HSG and freshman at Highland Community College, prefers to wait until asked where she attended school. “I just really don’t think being homeschooled is that much more or special.” She adds, “some people, when they learn I’ve been homeschooled, retreat and never say another word to me again. …many more are very interested to learn how I did it.”

The greatest risk of volunteering this information is the potential of being judged before having any chance to prove oneself. Mary, a student at Missouri Western, says that, had she been homeschooled, she would probably not have brought it up without being asked. She notes, “I have heard a lot of the homeschool jokes - and I guess I would not want anyone judging me just because I had a different type of education.”

Four years of higher education have firmly sealed my lips when the conversation swings around to high school. Fiercely proud of my parents’ home teaching, I’ve discovered the answer lies in remaining always above reproach. Don’t feel it necessary to inform peers and instructors of a highly stereotyped educational history before establishing a record that will silence their criticism. If you have been homeschooled, and you wish to end stereotypes instead of feeding them, let your actions, in every area of college life, speak louder than the rumors that will beat you there.

~Graphic contributed by Amanda Ketron, HSG and Graphic Design major.